Things I never want to forget:
- Day 5, in the middle of the night feeding Sloan, I held him and talked to him with a dim light in our living room which is something I usually don't do. I kept smiling, saying hi and how much I love him and he seemed to respond with smiles. He always smiled on cue and at us pretty early on. Even around 4 and 5 weeks, he was expressing happiness earlier than my other babies.
- In the hospital, I took pain meds twice and I had an insurmountable amount of anxiety. It was so weird. When I stopped taking it, it made a huge difference, but in the pit of that I was able to talk myself out of it by telling myself I could overcome this since I have before. That was a milestone for me.
- Recovery was minimal and quick compared to my others which I'm very grateful since I had two other babies to care for.
- Zach was my cheerleader and huge supporter through this whole process.
- How much Hudson and James love Sloan. They walked in the hospital so excited to meet their baby brother and couldn't sleep the rest of the night.
- Sloan's snuggles and being such a mama's boy.
- Sloan's hair, just like mine when I was born. And those full cheeks.
- His olive eyes. I thought all my kids would have dark brown eyes.
- The great love in our home.
- Knowing that Sloan had a sweet send-off from his great grandparents.
- My determination to not have postpartum depression. Not sure if this is controllable, but I do know that thoughts play a big roll which can be hard to control in the pit of depression, however, I've worked really hard for my peace and happiness and felt good most of the pregnancy. I'm glad that I still have my happiness mixed in with some hard days/moments because, life. I'm just happy to be feeling happy.
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